Are we teaching our sons what we have been teaching our daughters? Ariel #ShareTheLoad

I am a mother of three - A just turned adult 18 year old, a just turned teen 13 year old and a bubbly 8 year old. The first two boys and the youngest a girl.

As a mother to my oldest, I was akin to a fresher in college. I had till then a visual experience, an audio experience and probably even a verbal experience with all the discussions and talks I have had with many. But as I held my baby in my arms - the actual experience was mine - all mine. It was exclusive and all the emotions that whirled inside me - nothing like all the experiences I had experienced till then. On the same matter even, because any experience first hand is different from any other experience we might have had before. We can hear about it, see it, and even talk about it but nothing compares to living it. All the pseudo confidence and overheard knowledge suddenly turns into vivid and dramatic apprehensions. For a while atleast.

When reality sinks in - we just put that foot forward. Walk into the unknown environment and just work to doing the best we can. That is perhaps what life is actually all about.

My first born was the eldest of his generation in both sides of the family. And so all possible pampering and multidimensional involvements and multiple parenting was in order. By the time my second one came along every extended family had their own set of kids to pamper and bring up. The boys were brought up almost traditionally. After being at wits end with the boys and totally being unable to relate to boyhood came my girl to reconnect me with everything feminine. And with that the dawn of realization of how we bring up our boys and girls differently. How our parenting is so gender biased albeit unconsciously.

With the boy in the middle, I soon took a different approach. It was more out of pressure than a conscious decision on gender neutral parenting technique. He was a sensitive kid from the beginning and was 5 when his sister was born and he was enamored by the whole process of caring for her. We all have a bit of feminine and masculine in us - the Yin and Yang blend in all of us. As he grew he lost some of the feminine traits in his personality - the parenting to be blamed perhaps. My son has been doing the laundry for the last many months and it was my maid’s frustration at the many times I forgot to do it that compelled me to teach him. She is one happy maid and my son has taken steps towards being a responsible person. He helps me with dishes, lights the evening lamp at home and prepares the 2 minute Maggi too. And yes he is sensitive enough to make a bowl for me if I am unwell too.

I was not aware of this campaign by Ariel. I read about it a couple of days ago and I am so glad I have done my bit towards gender neutral parenting.

How about you ? What is your parenting style ?